Someone asked me that yesterday, as my son wheeled himself out of his preschool building. They didn't mean anytihng by; but they are certainly old enough to know better than to phrase a question like to a mother whose 2 year old is in a wheelchair.
I also got, "Why is he like that?" "Why does he talk like that?" "Was he born like that?" "Is he autistic?" "What's cerebral palsy?" From several others...
As we emerge out of the safety and privacy of our home and into the public with curious children, teens, and adults, I find myself trying my best to explain Edwin.
A lot of people stare at him when he's practicing in his wheelchair, or leaving the building for the day in it. Some look like they want to cry, others are so proud of him, others look like they feel sorry for him, and others seem utterly confused.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job explaining to people who ask, and assessing what Iu say based on the person's age.
We had an incident yesterday where a teen who is helping in the Pre-K apparently was talking abotu Edwin to a peer. That peer approached me and told me this girl seemed to be teasing Edwin in her description of his limitations and personality. She also said that the girl said, "I'm in Special Ed (which is true she has an IEP), so I'm helping take care of the SPED kid." At this I nearly lost it, but I held it together knowing she is only a teenager, and approached her on it. She denied saying it and I'm not playing the he said, she said game. I told her how much it hurt me to hear that anyone would make fun of my child and asked that she not discuss my son, or any child with others because it's a breech of confidentiality and if people have questions about Edwin she can field those people to me. I talked to the daycare staff and they assured me they haven't observed any teasing, but did will have her help in other areas and not with Edwin. It was a stressful and painful day yesterday, not to mention he is crying every single morning we approach the building. But I know this is good for him and they both have fun once they "get over" Mommy leaving the classroom.
Hopefully today is a no-drama day....
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2 comments:
Hi Stephanie,
It hurts, I'm sure. I am sorry for some people saying horrible things. It hurts a million times more when people are being mean to your kids. However, God has great plans for your beautiful son and daughter. For the neonatolgists to believe that Edwin was not going to make it for Edwin to become a thriving almost three year old boy is nothing short of a miracle. We all know how smart he is, and nothing will ever change that. Just know that I along with many others are here to listen and cheer you on being a wonderful mother to Serena and Edwin. We are so very proud of you and your family. Nothing will ever change that.
Love,
Randi
I am so sorry that this is happening. We're completely sensitive to what is going on with Edwin because, in very different ways, Hallie is not developing typically. I know that she's already aware of these differences on some level, and it makes me so sad for her that she needs to deal with this. It's bad enough when peers point this out to her but it's so much worse when adults (or near adults) make an issue of her atypicality (and in our case, the worst offender has a PhD from MIT so I don't know what to think except that a higher education doesn't make you a decent human being).
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