Daddy did not win

Last night, Edwin's Olympic dreams came to an end. He lost by decision to a very talented young boxer in the second round of the preliminaries.
Edwin worked so hard for this, and by a stroke of bad luck, or perhaps because this is what fate had in store, he will not have a shot at the Olympics. His amateur career is over. Being a 2 time national champion will help him as he now looks to go pro, but it must be so difficult to end his amateur career this way.
Of course he is devastated. He was pretty much inconsolable on the phone last night.
While we were both in tears, I couldn't help think about Serena and Edwin.

Sometimes, things don't happen the way we wanted them to. Sometimes, we hope and dream, and honestly really deserve something, and it just doesn't happen.
Life is full of unexpected and sometimes heartbreaking events. Often times there is nothing you can do but accept it.

Perhpas if Edwin and Serena were born healthy, and we didn't undergo all we did with witnessing first hand how delicate life is, I would beside myself with sadness and concern. Of course I feel awful that Edwin lost, and I hurt because he is hurting. But I have learned so much. I no longer stress as much as I once did. Life could be so much worse, oh life could really be so much worse.
A few weeks before Edwin and Serena were born my uncle passed away in a motorcycle accident. A couple days later my sister's boyfriend died in a car accident. It was terrible. So much hurt and so much sadness. My sister will never be the same, and it hurts to know a part of her heart is forever broken. Then we almost lost Serena and Edwin when they were born so unexpectably early. We witnessed a couple lose their twin daughter to prematurity.
I can't deny that I felt angry. Why are all of these horrible things happening to good people? How is this fair? I would scream at God, or at that time whoever I thought might possibly be up there, because I honestly wasn't too sure if anyone was. I would beg, I would plead, I would demand.
"Don't take my children." " I won't let you take them!!!!" "Please, please, please...I'm begging for a miracle....let them live."

I've learned a lot. I see now that things happen, and they are terrible sometimes, but we have to be thankful for what is good. We have to focus on the positives, or life really isn't worth living. You can't let circumstances, as difficult as they may be, deter you from other important things in life. You have to keep going, for the sake of your children, partner, family, friends, and also for yourself.
I'm trying to come to a place of acceptance (***please read my previous post if you have not already***), and I feel more at peace.
I am worried about our future now. I am concerned about Edwin and how low he is feeling. I am worried about what the next chapter brings. But I will face it, I will accept it, and I hope Edwin comes to this place as well.


At the end of the day, we have two beautiful children smiling at us, and really, to me, that makes everything okay.