Sometimes, once Serena and Edwin are fast asleep, and Edwin is still not home, I go to YouTube and watch memorial videos of premature babies who didn't make it. Edwin wonders why I do this to myself, as he comes home and the mascara that I had on from work is smeared down my face. But I am moved by the love these parents have for their son/daughter, which is showcased in the creation of something so beautiful to commemorate a life lost.
It reminds me just how lucky we are to have Serena and Edwin in our lives, and reminds me of the pain we all felt when Keiry passed away (sister-in-law's daughter, who was born at 21 weeks.) It reminds me that this happens far too frequently to families. While we get to enjoy our children every day, there are families hurting every day for the time they didn't get to spend, for the memories that will never be.
So when I'm told Edwin, Jr. was evaluated at around a 9 month level today by Early Intervention (I missed it b/c something came up at work), I am not freaking out. We take things in stride, and EJ is thriving. (I'll have more info on Friday when Serena has her evaluation.) I do care about quality of life, but I don't overly stress about things like gross motor skills. My children are alive, happy, and for the most part healthy. Life has been put in perspective, and after all he's been through, developmentally at an average of 9 months is certainly not the end of the world.
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4 comments:
I'm glad I'm not the only one that does that (watches videos).
My outlook on them is different though - it makes me scared... very scared.
If I were pregnant it would terrify me as well. But you're doing a lot to make sure this pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, and I wish you the best of luck!!!
I think Edwin is doing fabulous. Keep up the good work. He's come a long way. You're a wonderful mommy.
Shanon
Sorry to post a little late on this one, but I just now read it. I could have posted this same post myself. I do the same thing, and end up crying everytime because I thank God for what He's given to us and allowed us to keep, when some people aren't that lucky. I still go to bed each night, praying for all of the babies and families in the NICU right now, facing horrible situations that I didn't even know existed until it hit me in the face last year. I too do not worry if my child will read at 2 years old, or if he or she knows all the letters of the alphabet by 2, I am just lucky to have both of them here and so healthy. Things could have been much worse, and I am so thankful for the days I have with my children and I love them just the way they are. Sounds like you and me have the same positive outlook. :-)
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