Lost to prematurity...

Tonight we received a horrible phonecall. Edwin's brother's wife lost her baby. After we got more details from calling his family, we found out that her baby daughter had been born today...she was only 21 weeks pregnant.
Edwin's sister-in-law was an ever present source of strength for me while S&E were in the NICU. She called EVERY day, multiple times per day sometimes, and came to see the babies countless times. She even brought members of her church to see the babies and pray over them. She an was amazing support.
This past spring she found out she was pregnant with her second. This Saturday is her daughter's 4th birthday party. She was so excited to add baby number two, and it was a joy watching her belly grow over this summer. We were all anxiously waiting to see if she was having a boy or a girl.
I am not too sure what happened exactly. As soon as we found out, we went to the hospital, the same one I delivered at with the NICU, and went into to see her. Swaddled in a pink blanket and wearing a purple knit hat laying in her mother's arms was the most perfect baby girl. She had dark hair, dark eyebrowns, a beautiful tan complexion, a perfect nose, mouth, and hands. She was so tiny, but so beautiful. She said to us, "do you want to carry her?" One of my favorite things Edwin's family always says, and they mean "do you want to hold the baby." Edwin held her in the palm of his hands, and then helped me hold her in mine, as I needed his help because I was shaking so badly. I was crying, when I was trying to be strong for her. My heart broke. Why do these things happen?!?!
As I mentioned, Edwin's family is Spanish-speaking. There was a lot of confusion as to what happened. All they kept saying was "she was 5 months. The baby was breathing...and the Drs let her die." They didn't understand that at our local NICU they will only go to deliveries of 23 weekers, and they only resuscitate at 23 and something...at least 23 and 1 day gestation. I don't know if they would ever make an exception of a 23.0, but a NICU nurse told me "no." It is their policy...it's just the way it is. Edwin's brother and his wife had to hold their tiny daughter until she could breathe no more. They sat there wondering why no one was helping her when they had seen our babies so small and thought things were the same. His brother asked Edwin why they didn't do anything for his daughter but they did for our twins. It broke my heart. If only she was 2 weeks farther along...
This is a sadness that stings. Tonight Edwin told me we aren't having anymore children. He said "that could have been us." I don't know if he is serious or just heartbroken and scared. I want more children, but the thought of going through prematurity again is beyond scary. All I know is a loving, church-going family who has never drank, smoked, or even thought of trying drugs witnessed their baby die tonight and don't know why. All I know is this is happening to way too many people and I don't how close to finding answers anyone is.
In our family, we have me who delivered at 23.5, Edwin's other brother's wife who delivered at 28.6 weeks just a week before S&E were discharged, and now his other brother's wife who delivered at 21 weeks...all within a year.
As we returned home from the hospital tonight, I went into S&E's room and watched them sleeping. We are so lucky. Prematurity is so unfair. No parent should ever have to bury their child...No parent should ever experience the grief Edwin's brother and wife are feeling tonight.